After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
