standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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