She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
