Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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