Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
