just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
