Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
