you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
