3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
