Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
