I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i love accidental penises.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I have feelings that need drinking.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
