fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
