I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize