so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
only you would photoshop your dick
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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