I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
thus making me awesome and them whores
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
