Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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