I hope mine doesn't look like that
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
