the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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