I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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