In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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