The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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