I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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