Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
