We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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