So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
actually, I'm a sock model
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
