So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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