well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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