I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
