O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
