Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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