Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
