I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
