Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
