take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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