You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
