a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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