yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
