she kept yelling 'call me bella'
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
