I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
