Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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