I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize