I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
