dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
