it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
