so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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