I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
