he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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