Pappa wants mamma naked
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
