Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
