I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
