if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
