who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
