I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
