Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Randomize
