i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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