Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
