dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
