I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
