do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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