just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
