Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
