i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
