I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
