I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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