it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
