Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
