Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
