He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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