I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
